Rushmore

Listening to the songs that I'm listening to made me think of the movie Rushmore. It's such an existential movie, really. One of my favorites. It's about the main character, Max Fisher, finding his niche in life (like I was writing about), and hence his meaning. He sucks at school (I wish I couldn't relate), but he's very bright and very involved in extra-curriculars (theatre, wrestling, and bee-keeping, among others) and he develops this crush on one of the teachers, Rosemary Cross (that part's a little weird, fucked-up, actually, but though I'm glad I can't relate to it, it's still interesting) and is very determined to "win her." In the process of all of this self-discovery, there are miscellaneous problems that come up (some self-created, often because of his over-determination. - Is there a better word for that?), but that's the process of life, isn't it? At the very end of the movie, this song plays, and it just feels perfect. Like he's found it. His meaning.

I think that's everyone. Out there, searching for their meanings, whether it be God or Hedonism or TV (Though I hope it's not the latter). I think the more of that potential meaning in ourselves we actualize, the happier we'll be.

I wish that I knew all I know now
When I was younger
I wish that I knew all I know now
When I was stronger